Colin Longworth - Psychologist & Counsellor
Apart from Depression, Anxiety and Stress,
other areas of professional interest include:
Family of origin Issues
From a combination of work and life experience I have come to realize that not everyone had an uneventful childhood like mine.
Some of the issues that individuals might bring to me as a Psychologist and Counsellor include;
One or both parent’s being either;·
- Physically absent – where the parents might be divorced, separated or deceased, or “Single Mums or Dads”, or who had parents who were so busy working to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads they didn’t have much time for their children;
- Emotionally absent and not giving the child the physical and emotional support they needed to grow up as well adjusted adults;
- Physically or sexually abusive to their child or children.
Although well intentioned, the parents may have had their own;
- Mental health issues;·
- Alcohol or other drug addictions;
- History of physical and or sexual abuse or neglect as children;
- Situations where “the fickle finger of fate” dealt them a difficult life;
That meant they could not give their children the love and attention the developing child needed.
There is any number of variations of the sorts of situations described (or not described) above.
Although counselling cannot change the past, it is possible to look at history with an “adult eye” and assist the person to look at their experiences in a new way.
This is not to ignore what has happened in the past, but to try to help the client to feel more comfortable with what has happened or not happened and try to reduce the impact on their current life.
Gay and Lesbian Concerns
An Australian academic, Dennis Altman has written that:
"Our gayness is not something like skin colour, or sex, or infirmity, apparent to both us and others. We have to discover our homosexuality, and having discovered it, we have a wide range of options, hardly available to others who are stigmatized, as to how we should reveal our stigma." (Homosexual Liberation and Oppression, 1971, p. 14.)
This difference or being the Gay/Lesbian branch on the family tree could mean, or result in;
- Depression or Anxiety (a result of “less than equal” treatment)
- Wanting to develop a Gay/Lesbian support network away from “the scene”?
- Wanting to explore - How will I meet Mr/Ms Right?
- Dealing with issues about discrimination or less than equal treatment
- Feeling the need to hide who you really are in the workplace or other settings
- Wanting to reduce internalized Homophobia or heterosexism
- Feeling guilty about being Lesbian or Gay or thinking that it's "wrong"
- Concerns about responses of family, friends, or your church to “coming out”
- Conflicts between cultural or religious beliefs and homosexuality
- More general fears about “coming out”
- Social isolation from other Lesbians and Gay men
- Alcohol or other drug addiction
Apart from the “usual” things people go to see a counsellor or psychologist about....
Archie Roach - Walking Into Doors - This video on YouTube is what it's all about.
Domestic Violence is not about, or the same as “Anger Management” because Domestic Violence is directed towards a person with whom the “offender” is in a close intimate relationship (definitely not a “stranger")
Usually working on Domestic Violence involves looking at attitudes, beliefs and behaviours
This can include looking at the offenders actions, while trying to separate the actions from the person.
For example instead of thinking (and possibly saying) "You are a bad person!" look at the offence as an otherwise good man (usually) engaging in bad behaviour.
Anger Management is about learning to express your disagreement, frustration etcetera in a socially acceptable way. It can also be about working out if your anger is really justified? Learning to use a better way to respond to something you don’t like, can be another part of learning to manage anger.
In the case of intimate relationships this can also be about creating a situation where both parties feel safe to express disagreements, disappointments and the like, without fear of physical or emotional violence.
The Duluth Model is a widely used way of looking at Domestic Violence and identifies how domestic Violence involves a number of parts to it, not just the physical "violence".
As noted elsewhere on my website, I was for a while, running groups for men who have engaged in Domestic Violence and were required or "mandated" to attend these groups (usually for 24 weeks) by the courts.
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